Frequently in films, television, and literature, toxic behavior can be disguised as deep expressions of love. Possessiveness is portrayed as protectiveness, jealousy as proof of passion, and suffering as a necessary sacrifice for love. These narratives harmfully blur the lines between comfort and control, glorifying abusive dynamics, making them seem desirable instead of dangerous.

While it may not seem obvious at first, examples in the media are all around. Last year, Colleen Hoover’s bestselling novel It Ends with Us was adapted to film—avid fans flocked to movie theaters to indulge in the intense love story of Lily Bloom and Ryle Kincaid—and the motion picture amassed a $351 million worldwide box office grossing; a respectable profit gained from a $25 million production budget. The story follows a relationship that goes from charming and charismatic to physically and emotionally abusive, with the female protagonist eventually ending the relationship. While the film may be interpreted as a story of survival to comfort victims of abuse, many were concerned about the glorification of such behavior, and the way it was downplayed within the film and its promotion.

In one promotional video posted to social media, Blake Lively (the actress who portrays Bloom) encouraged the audience to get a glimpse of the movie, "grab your friends, wear your florals, and head out to see it.” Comments under the video expressed mass concern for the upbeat tone and perceived attempt to promote the movie as a positive and uplifting love story. “As someone who lived through DV as a child, 'grab your friends, wear your florals' is a terrible phrase to use about a film of this nature," read one comment. "You had an opportunity to turn this into a beautiful thing for women who suffer every day. Shame on you and your PR team for turning a blind eye," another stated.

The concern surrounding media glorification of abuse (whether intentional or not) is prominent within society, which is understandable given the sorrowful statistics surrounding domestic abuse in relationships today. According to National Domestic Violence Services, “Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year.” Although abuse can be received regardless of gender, the issue still predominantly stands with male to female abuse. “Additionally, 1 in 3 girls in the US is a victim of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence,” data reads.

Oftentimes, abuse is easily unnoticed, as victims themselves can fail to realize the treatment they are facing. “It can be difficult to see signs of abuse in a relationship, especially when perpetrators try to disguise their coercive controlling behavior and verbal abuse as acts of love and protection. Even if the abuse does not escalate to physical violence, it can wreak havoc on a survivor's mental health and well-being,” explains Pamela Zaballa, global leader in the domestic and sexual violence space and CEO of NGO NO MORE foundation.

As an industry many young girls turn to as an escape from the pressures of everyday life, beauty’s community—including brands and consumers—holds the power to make a positive impact surrounding such a negative topic. This call to action can be seen across social media and comes in many forms. A prominent example can be found as consumers take to TikTok, posting videos with captions such as “girls, tell me how your boyfriend treats you but in makeup terms so they won’t understand.” Within these comments, responses can be found such as “I feel like I’ll never find makeup that doesn’t break me out” alluding to abuse or stressful feelings as a result of a relationship, which can then be read by likeminded peers who reach out for support through private messaging. The trend, which first grew to popularity during the COVID-19 lockdown, has influenced beauty to be used as a way out of such situations.

Of course, consumers can’t do the work alone, and as a result, brands are working to navigate the problem and educate consumers on the signs of abuse, with various names from the beauty industry having held long-standing initiatives and campaigns to tackle such issues. In 2020, YSL Beauty launched its Abuse Is Not Love program, a campaign born to address intimate partner violence (IPV).

“At YSL Beauty, we believe in the liberation and independence of women—a value deeply rooted in our brand's DNA. This program reflects our commitment to supporting autonomy for all individuals, to live healthy relationships,” Juleah Love, Global Head of Brand Corporate Engagement at YSL Beauty tells BeautyMatter. To date, the program has trained and supported over one million individuals through direct partnerships with NGOs spanning five continents. “Despite everything our local NGO partners are doing on the ground, young people between 16 and 24 are the most vulnerable to experiencing abuse, so it’s crucial to continue having these conversations,” Love continues. “The aim of our campaign is to foster change through education, awareness, and actionable support.”

To help people recognize IPV before it escalates, YSL Beauty uses its voice to destigmatize the topic and give survivors the language to speak about their experience. By spreading awareness in public places, the Abuse Is Not Love program ensures that this information and awareness of the warning signs can become readily available for those who might need to seek or offer help. Timed for release with International Women’s Day, YSL Beauty’s latest iteration of its Abuse Is Not Love campaign directly reflects the romanticization of abuse through the media. The campaign comes in the form of what first seems to be a stereotypical, luxury perfume ad. Depicting a seemingly idyllic and elegant Parisian romance, the video rolls out through a series of beautiful scenes: a glamorous party, a romantic stroll, and other intimate moments.

The two main characters include a woman, beautiful and confident, and a man, exuding a dark and mysterious charm; the duo give an initial impression of a magnetic and elegant couple with strong chemistry. However, as the story rolls out, a soft sense of unease creeps in. Ever so slightly, warning signs of abuse begin to emerge, woven into the narrative of the romantic scenes. The ad abruptly halts, posing a powerful message: "Did you see signs of abuse in this film?" The narrative then rewinds, exposing the signs of abuse from each scene, hidden in plain sight.

“Intimate partner violence is often misunderstood, minimized, or overlooked entirely. Don’t Call It Love challenges that by exposing the subtle, insidious ways abuse takes hold—through visuals and scenarios that deeply resonate. It confronts how the media has blurred the lines between love and abuse, revealing the devastating reality behind what we’ve been taught to romanticize,” explains Dr. Sara Kuburic, lead film consultant and doctor of psychotherapy.

Throughout the campaign’s development and production, YSL Beauty consulted with its historic NGO partners and experts such as En Avant Toutes, It’s On Us, and Dr. Beth Livingston, gender and relationship researcher.

“As a psychotherapist, writer, and media presence, I know that we need conversations that disrupt harmful narratives and empower real change—which is exactly what this campaign does. Having been involved from the start, I’ve seen firsthand how thoughtful and committed YSL Beauty has been to creating an authentic and impactful message. This project isn’t just raising awareness—it has the power to create meaningful, global change,” Kuburic continues.

Another notable example of a brand taking a stand to educate consumers against abuse is Avon, which has been campaigning several decades to end physical and sexual violence against women. “Over the last 20 years, we have made it our mission to help end gender-based abuse, donating more than $91 million and supporting over 15 million women and girls through our global programs and partnerships,” Avon CEO Kristof Neirynck tells BeautyMatter.

According to research by Avon, less than half of women (41%) say that they would confidently be able to recognize the signs of abuse in a relationship. In response to this, aligned with the  International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women in November 2024, the brand revealed Lovestrong, an information portal crafted with the support of NGO’s, aimed at young women to raise awareness of the early signs of abuse.

The open-to-all resource center highlighted common early warning signs of abuse, provided information to help people spot patterns before they escalate, and empowered them with guidance on how and where to access help safely. At the heart of the campaign was a captivating film, which highlighted three of the critical early warning signs of abuse: knocking your confidence, controlling what you wear, and controlling your money.

“This campaign wasn’t just about raising awareness, it was about giving women the tools they need to feel empowered in their relationships,” Neirynck continued. “We want to help women feel confident in helping their fellow women and girls to recognize unhealthy patterns early, so they can take action and make informed choices. Most importantly, we want to emphasize that abuse is never their fault, and support is always available.”

Neirynck spoke to beauty’s complex relationship with abuse, “As a beauty brand, we’re aware of the complex role makeup plays in the lives of survivors of intimate partner violence,” he added. “For some, it’s a way to conceal injuries, which is a reminder of the urgency to address this issue. For others, makeup becomes a means of reclaiming confidence and self-expression during the healing process.”

As said by Love, “Ending IPV requires collective action. Our work is far from done, but by uniting as brands, advocates, and individuals, we can create a safer, healthier world. We invite everyone to join us in breaking the silence, educating the next generation, and helping end intimate partner violence for good.” The romanticization of toxic relationships in the media dangerously blurs the lines between love and abuse, normalizing harmful behaviours. However, as brands such as YSL Beauty and Avon continue to pioneer education and resources to tackle IPV, given wider access to education and resources, consumers are becoming more and more empowered to speak out. As an industry, we have the collective power to come together to further tackle IPV—after all, action could save lives.